Fear as a Catalyst for Growth: Conquering Discomfort
Breaking Free from Fear to Realize Your Potential
I have been recently reminded in so many places that fear is the number one thing that holds us back from achieving our best.
‘The fear’ differs from person to person. It could be relatively low risk such as giving a talk in public. Or it could be bigger, such as trading your comfortable life for a startup that might fail. Or moving abroad for a new opportunity.
The risks associated with each fear may vary from one individual to another. However, taking bold steps and embracing risks can bring you closer to attaining your life’s ambitions and fulfilling your destiny.
If you want to build something meaningful, you’ll have to do uncomfortable stuff.
The late, brilliant Felix Dennis in his book How to Get Rich compared ‘fear’ to a horse — a nightmare. A horse can be tamed, it can be harnessed and that horse can take you where you need to go.
“Here is my suggestion. Think of this fear not as the King Kong of bogeymen, but as a mare. A nightmare. A mare, after all, is a horse. A horse can be tamed, bridled, saddled, harnessed and (eventually) ridden. Harnessing the power of such a creature adds mightily to your own. Thus the nightmare of prospective failure provides you with the very opportunity you are seeking. Not only does it restrain smarter people than yourself from becoming rich — and there can only be so many rich people in the world — it affords you the chance of increasing your confidence, both when you confront it and when you master it…
… After a lifetime of making money and observing better men and women than I fall by the wayside, I am convinced that fear of failing in the eyes of the world is the single biggest impediment to amassing wealth. Trust me on this”
Feel free to replace ‘rich’ with whatever you want.
The message is the same. To confront your fear is to step out of your comfort zone in order to get where you want to be. In order to become your future self.
Moving beyond your fear zone and stepping into the learning zone is key to gaining valuable knowledge and skills.
If you can utilize those abilities effectively, it’s only a matter of time before you enter the growth zone, where your capacity for action increases as your confidence multiplies.
This is where the truly exciting opportunities emerge.
“The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.” — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow
The limitations of staying within our comfort zone can be attributed to the fact that humans have a diverse range of needs that extend beyond basic necessities.
As humans, we possess the ability to imagine and create, much like a seed that has the potential to grow into a beautiful flower. This creativity can lead to new ideas that push us to step out of our comfort zone and bring these ideas to fruition. Just like a seed needs to break out of its shell to grow, humans must break free from the confines of their comfort zone to realize their full potential. The remarkable accomplishments of humanity in fields such as science, technology, and art are a testament to the incredible capacity of the human imagination to reach beyond the limits of comfort and familiarity.
The stoics reminded this to themselves frequently, by confronting the ultimate fear; death.
“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” — Marcus Aurelius in Meditations, what was essentially his own private journal.
Although Aurelius achieved great success, it is evident that he confronted his own fears and the inevitability of his own mortality every day. While his quote may appear morbid, it can actually serve as an inspiration to live life fully and without regret, recognizing that life is fleeting and we should pursue what we truly desire.
It’s understandable to look at the achievements of “the greats” and wonder how they relate to our own lives. The message to not let fear dictate our actions applies to everyone, reminding us not to disregard small steps that can help us become our desired selves.
Fellow Kiwi and personal brand consultant Sam Browne detailed in a recent story on LinkedIn how crippling fear stopped him from achieving his goals earlier. In a post titled ’10 Years of Failure’, Sam discussed how he always had the idea of doing a podcast and making his voice heard, he ultimately stopped twice along the way because he was afraid of the voice in his head. On his third attempt in 2022, he finally built a momentum of publishing his thoughts online, pushing away the fear of rejection, and presently has over 62k followers tuning in daily, with many of these being new clients, and connections leading to other opportunities.
But, when is the right time?
Any time is the right time.
It is when you can’t stand being comfortable anymore and want to achieve what you want to - right now. That moment depends from person to person.
For Jacob Papageorgiou, former bar musician and now CEO of Mojo Design, that moment came in 2016. After performing at a restaurant on a Friday night, he was handed €34 for his services. After facing the uncomfortable truth that he would have to push very hard to change his outlook at the time, he realised that he needed to confront his fear and study in order to give himself a better life. It’s turned out well for him. Very well! — he said he went from €34 to €3.4m in just a few years.
Tim Ferriss is a best-selling author (in multiple languages), has a podcast, is an advisor, a thought leader and much more. He’s inspired millions to learn, get out of their comfort zone and win at life. But this wasn’t always the case — he hit rock bottom and almost took his own life whilst in his final year at university in 1999.
In an epic talk titled ‘Why you should define your fears instead of your goals’, Tim detailed how he also found inspiration from the stoics and learnt how to confront his fears in an actionable way that helped him to find the will to overcome his troubles and become the inspiration that he is today.
“We Suffer More In Imagination Than In Reality” — Seneca
In 2004, young Tim stumbled upon this quote from Seneca that spurred him to discover the practice of “premeditatio malorum,” or the premeditation of evils. This involves visualizing in detail the worst-case scenarios one fears, which can prevent them from taking action, allowing them to overcome the paralysis caused by such fears. Tim delved into this exercise on his blog, and it would be best to refer to his words for a comprehensive understanding. Nonetheless, conducting this exercise periodically can be valuable in assessing one’s position, goals, and the potential losses associated with inaction.
Sometimes people feel like giving up when they face the uncertainty that comes with change.
It’s easier for them to imagine negative outcomes instead of positive ones. This is often because they are comfortable where they are, so they don’t feel motivated enough to make the necessary changes to become who they want to be.
Uncertainty, not outcome, is the root of stress. — Naval Ravikant
Life is uncertain, that is a surety. Yet if you take the untrodden path which might lead to greatness, many invariably fight with their own minds with the uncertainty that might lead to failure – or success.
In 2023, there are tons of ways to find inspiration, from various sources and in different forms.
You can easily access a variety of commentators and speakers who can share their messages on various platforms. One who particularly inspires me is Shaan Puri, serial entrepreneur and host of My First Million. Recently, he posted a video titled “How To Use Visualization To Accomplish Your Wildest Goals,” which I found fantastic. In the video, he talks about how he “gets hyped” by using his imagination to visualize positive outcomes when he faces uncertainty or fear.
In the end, fear is a universal emotion that can hinder personal growth and achievement.
However, by harnessing the power of fear and stepping outside our comfort zones, we can develop valuable skills, gain confidence, and achieve our goals. The stoics, such as Marcus Aurelius, frequently reminded themselves of the ultimate fear, of death, to inspire them to live life fully. Like a seed that needs to break out of its shell to grow, humans must break free from the confines of their comfort zone to realize their full potential.
“Fear not. For fear itself is fed by fear, and all fears pass. Did no one tell you so? Come take my hand, my friend, and we will peer into this fear’s — Felix Dennis.
Once you discover your potential, there is no turning back.
Even if you stray from your path, you’ll experience the discomfort that comes with a lack of growth.
Remember that your future self is watching your every move.
Make them proud.
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